Hi Reader,

There is power in the way we talk to ourselves.

Many of us are already well-acquainted with the voice in our heads that nag us, criticize us, and constantly worst-case scenario-ing.

When I talk about our inner bullies, I mean the negative self-talk that sometimes dictates more than we want it to when it comes to our decisions, self-beliefs, and how to approach the world.

It’s important to note that this voice is NOT us or our personality. Rather, this voice is fueled by the conditioned beliefs we have been taught. All of the messages we’ve heard from family, teachers, friends, bosses, colleagues, etc in our lives are internalized and stored in our memories as data. This data classifies what we are taught to believe is “good” and “bad”. And it’s hard to let go of those ideas when we’ve also been conditioned to believe that all things fall into the duality of “good” vs. “bad.” I digress.

This inner voice is our fear talking. The fear of not being ”good” or “good enough”. And although it has a loving purpose - to keep us safe from danger - often it’s the anxious over-prepared curmudgeon that keeps us feeling small and doubting ourselves. It leads us to overthink and keep us from embracing our true selves.
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Our inner bullies affect more than just us.

Growing up in a mainstream culture that teaches us everyone should be striving for standards of “normal” or “good”. But the standards (like those of Toxic Professionalism I often talk about) we’ve been taught to uphold in our lives aren’t necessarily what’s most beneficial to us. They often keep us feeling bad while also upholding systems of oppressive and supremacy culture. This includes patriarchy, white supremacy, ableism, capitalism, fatphobia, xenophobia, classism, etc.
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So now we know why that inner bully voice came to be and how it upholds oppression - how do we kick it?

That inner bully voice is a habit of thought. And like any habit, you can change it.

Check out the rest of this blog post for practical tips on how to change the habit of negative self-talk and start to build your most powerful self-compassion muscles 💪

Cheering you on,

Bye, career identity crises. Hello, confident leadership & change-making for a better world. ​laurengoldbergcoaching.com​

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